in which I expand my definition of human tolerance

I registered for the Chicago Marathon.

the larger implications of an awful night

A reasonable amount of time has passed since the show that made me so angry I started a blog.  I'm still angry, but there are other issues to contend with as well.

I'm not comfortable with hitting a transperson, and I'm not comfortable with not being comfortable with it.  Actually, scratch that.  I'm not comfortable with how people perceive it when you say "I hit a transwoman because she wouldn't stop dry humping me and then she tackled me."  If I said "I hit a man because he wouldn't stop dry humping me and then he tackled me," there would be understanding, if not a small round of applause.  I don't think this is fair.  At all.  I think anytime I find myself in a situation that has become so threatening that I feel the need to physically defend myself I shouldn't have to question whether or not it's politically correct.

I understand that transpeople face many, many obstacles in their life and discrimination in more forms than most people could ever comprehend.  I also tend to interact with people on a case-by-case basis, which is sometimes known as treating people like individual human beings with no regard for whatever differences they may be displaying, or concealing.  Thus, when I am attacked by a person I respond in the way I'd respond if I were attacked by any person.  Lastly, I was raised in a household that didn't exactly take gender roles seriously so I've spent the bulk of my life not giving a shit what's going on in your pants.  I tend to give way more of a shit about what's going on in your head, and if what's going on in your head is "I think it's okay to violate another human being," I have a serious problem with that.

I used to be totally okay with physical confrontations, but getting older has done this crazy thing to me where I suddenly find myself thinking through my options before acting or, in this case, thinking through my options while acting.  

Then there's one of the other horrifying issues on display at that show -- girls who were too drunk to stand and too drunk to speak being kissed/rubbed/groped.  I would hope that by now most people agree that if someone is too drunk to stand or speak, they are too drunk to consent to any kind of sexual contact.  I think that's pretty basic common sense.  I also think that if you are the friend of a person who is so wasted they can't take care of themselves, you need to get the fuck out of your little bubble and help that person not get assaulted.  Shitty as it is, most strangers are not going to want to get involved in that situation and as that person's friend you know if they are being touched by someone who is pre-approved for touching or if they are being touched by a fucking stranger in a room full of goddamn strangers.

My final issue is one that has become recurring.  Since I sing in a hardcore band, I get touched a lot.  I go out in the crowd, I push people, I lean into people, and they push and lean right back (with the exception of some guys who have no idea how to respond to a girl pushing and leaning into them while screaming in their faces -- they tend to just avert their eyes and act like maybe it's not happening).  I love this touching.  It's what makes running around and shouting like an idiot fun.  Now, though, there's this weird thing where girls think that it's okay to touch me in what I shall delicately refer to as my no-no zone.  Basically, I've been getting my tits grabbed by people who know how much it sucks to get your tits grabbed.  I can't imagine anybody doing that to a dude they didn't know while he was running around and shouting.  

Would you tweak his nipples while he was making that face?

If the answer is "no," please do not tweak/grope me.